Learning you are capable of self-care, worthy of asking for your needs and opening your heart to receiving are essential milestones along your healing path. Of course it is awkward. The first few days and weeks of preparing for that marathon leaves the new runner sore and many times defeated. Self-compassion is key to becoming stronger and assertive enough to create boundaries.
Unlike the runner who most likely is greeted with open arms and praise, the odds of being greeted with open arms as you test your boundaries is possible, but highly unlikely. People don’t like change. Changing the people in our lives is an impossible quest. You can only change yourself. Think of it as a dance. Learning the dance and sharing it with your partner invites a few toes to be stepped on. With commitment and willingness to learn, the dance becomes a beautiful and fun expression of your feelings with another human being.
Boundaries are the same. Eventually, after perseverance, feelings of pride and peace replace the frustration of living a life with little to few boundaries. It feels good to say ‘No, I don’t want that’ or ‘You are not allowed to talk to me like that.’ Whatever your thought, feeling or action, learning self-worth is a gift no one can take from you. Using your boundaries as you walk along your path aids your expression of self-love.